Archive for December, 2010


I waited for his reply after the text but he did not respond. I was in a dilemma to text him again but then I retreated my fingers from doing so. It was one-ish at night and I was at the verge of dozing off but my message tone beeped once again. Excitedly, I jumped off my bed to get the phone  lying on the ottoman. I quickly held on to my phone and saw the text, it read ‘ How have you been?’… zillion emotions stirred in me. I had been dreaming of  the day to talk to him and justify my part of the story but could not believe that things were actually happening for real. I tried disconnecting my mind from the thoughts that revolved around me day and night  and wrote ” I am fine.. how are you?” I became impatient and could not wait for his reply. But this time he replied rather quickly. He said he was doing well, at least better than before. I wondered what that meant. My mind was bombarded with  questions… I knew that he had a tough time in a different city. I knew it was difficult for him not to be in touch with his best friends… I knew I did not fit the bill any more but it must have been excruciating for him not to talk to his  close friends. I knew I had been the reason for his loss. After contemplating, I sent him a message again that read ‘Same here’. My mind became jittery when he did not reply this time. Numerous reasons flooded my mind. Did he doze off all of a sudden??? ( I started grumbling to myself… ‘You cannot make him sleep, I had waited for this for so long!!!’)  or was he genuinely caught up with something or did his insight asked him not to talk to me, again. I just wanted my mind to be in peace and not to ‘assume’ so much. He always told me ‘Don’t you think you assume too much.. ASSUMPTION QUEEN!’  To ease my mind a little, I stepped out of my room furtively as I did not want my parents to shout in terror  as it was two at night  and walked towards the balcony to get a breath of fresh air. The gentle breeze played with my hair  and  I realized that assumptions could be claustrophobic. My message tone beeped again and it brought a big smile on my face 🙂

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The Inexplicable!

We have known each other for past five years. I met him during school. We were batch mates. As my new friends group emerged during high school he became a part of the group. I can remotely recall that in our first group hang out, I found him shy and an introvert. He did not talk much but the spark in his eyes drew my attention towards him. In the first phone conversation with him, I told him that I found him cute but in reply he told me that I had never noticed him and he was a nobody to me…. His words made me think…a  nobody … a nobody suddenly became somebody so important in my life.We started talking over texts, over phone, during and after school. In our first phone conversation, things had just clicked between us. It made me believe that I could confide in him. We used to talk everyday. He knew everything about me and vice versa. I really liked him as a person. He became my best friend in fact, more than that… But our relationship did not blossom into a love story. We remained friends through out. I could share everything with him. The late night phone conversations, meet ups in and after school along with the gang made him an inevitable part of my life and it was the same for him… I believe… It was  two years of our friendship now and everything went smoothly until when an abominable incident took place. Our gang dispersed for some reason and the repercussion was an almost eternal bitterness between him and I. It broke me. I had lost myself more than loosing him. It was almost impossible for me to assemble the broken pieces. He migrated to a different city for a year. After one year he came back but he never initiated to stay in touch. I knew I was at fault so I had no other alternative but to accept my fate. I had given up all hopes that things could be the same between us or we will ever meet! It was friendship’s day, my fate made me meet him at a coffee shop after one year… one year seemed so long… almost after ages… I struggled with a flush of teardrops in my eyes. I maintained my composure. He was with his new set of friends and seemed really happy. I pretended to remain unaffected. We exchanged stares and silently greeted each other. That very night my message tone beeped. Callously, I walked towards my phone, it was him. I was thrilled. He had sent a ‘Hie’. I went blank as I did not know what to reply! I just sent a hi too….

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