The Inexplicable* – HIM …

I had a sound sleep that night and probably after a very long time… From then we started exchanging messages. I had this urge to text him almost everyday and after every hour, but then I tried battling with my irrationality every now and then as I did not want my berserk mind to over do things. He messaged me occasionally and stuck to mere chit chat but the stubborn me always prolonged it and the best part was that he never had a problem 🙂 🙂 I guess he liked talking to me too … I could sense that he knew what I was trying to attain.. almost the IMPOSSIBLE then, which seemed not so impossible now. He had always been a great friend to me during school. There was something so dynamic about him that was undefinable. It was not his appearance but there was something far beyond that.. something that was magnetic. I always wondered what is that one thing that hypnotizes all his friends to be with him all the time ??  His sense of comprehending a problem so well or mental wavelength compatibility with his folks?? Or his impregnable  spirit to help his friends and stand by them no matter how crucial the circumstances were. He often said ‘My friends mean the world to me!’..  and I knew for a fact they actually did!! He was  a rare species and I had never come across a person more selfless than him. Although he was the most selfless person I had ever met but at the same time he was the most unpredictable too.

It was easy for him to predict what bothered me. I sometimes felt vulnerable when he could figure it out on his own and then sat with me to discuss about things. He always had a solution to all my  unresolved issues..mostly….  He truly epitomized the term ‘FRIENDSHIP’ for me. But then he was just not a friend to me nor was he a lover, he was somebody I could confide in blindly, somebody who had been a pillar of strength in my odds and somebody who could effortlessly manage to bring a smile on my face and also make me cry a thousand tears.

The Inexplicable * – the “letter”

There are some people who have an invincible  impact on you. Without a doubt he had the most tremendous impact on me. How a message from him brought a huge smile on my face??? I realized… I loved the fact of being so highly influenced by him 😉 😉 This time his message read, ‘ I was going through the letter that you gave me so I thought of dropping a text’. In retrospect, I wrote him a letter during my vacation to Shimla, that was during school. Things were picture perfect that time. It was the first letter that I wrote to him. Probably it was his first letter ever so he was really touched reading it. The content of the letter was very general. But it did reflect that he meant a lot to me. There was a moment of elevation that I experienced when I read his text. I knew we had remained disconnected for quite sometime but what made  me extremely happy was that he still had my letter and he still reads it. I ‘assumed’ that I could fix things. I ‘assumed’ that things could be the same between us…. I tried controlling my mind as I knew I was thinking too much. It was difficult for us to reconcile. I proceeded with the conversation and typed ‘ You still have it with you? :O’. He replied instantly.. ‘Yes! the first letter that somebody wrote to me….’ I felt nice reading the words that he typed. I was brimming with foolish pride because I was the first one to do so and my letter had been the medium of our conversation. But when it came to my reply to his overwhelming text, I fell short of words. I had this indomitable and absurd urge to meet him… absurd because I wanted to meet him at 2.30 at night!!! I could not think of anything and texted him if he could meet me soon. I could predict his reply and without much to my surprise, he replied that he needed sometime (just to be polite) and wished me good night, but I knew at the back of my pessimistic mind that he would not meet me. I wished him the same 😦 😦 . Placing my phone back on the ottoman, I wondered what was good about the unexpected night??? Within seconds my heart answered… ‘He spoke to you after ages and things are not as bad as you thought them to be!!! 🙂 🙂 ‘

The Inexplicable!

We have known each other for past five years. I met him during school. We were batch mates. As my new friends group emerged during high school he became a part of the group. I can remotely recall that in our first group hang out, I found him shy and an introvert. He did not talk much but the spark in his eyes drew my attention towards him. In the first phone conversation with him, I told him that I found him cute but in reply he told me that I had never noticed him and he was a nobody to me…. His words made me think…a  nobody … a nobody suddenly became somebody so important in my life.We started talking over texts, over phone, during and after school. In our first phone conversation, things had just clicked between us. It made me believe that I could confide in him. We used to talk everyday. He knew everything about me and vice versa. I really liked him as a person. He became my best friend in fact, more than that… But our relationship did not blossom into a love story. We remained friends through out. I could share everything with him. The late night phone conversations, meet ups in and after school along with the gang made him an inevitable part of my life and it was the same for him… I believe… It was  two years of our friendship now and everything went smoothly until when an abominable incident took place. Our gang dispersed for some reason and the repercussion was an almost eternal bitterness between him and I. It broke me. I had lost myself more than loosing him. It was almost impossible for me to assemble the broken pieces. He migrated to a different city for a year. After one year he came back but he never initiated to stay in touch. I knew I was at fault so I had no other alternative but to accept my fate. I had given up all hopes that things could be the same between us or we will ever meet! It was friendship’s day, my fate made me meet him at a coffee shop after one year… one year seemed so long… almost after ages… I struggled with a flush of teardrops in my eyes. I maintained my composure. He was with his new set of friends and seemed really happy. I pretended to remain unaffected. We exchanged stares and silently greeted each other. That very night my message tone beeped. Callously, I walked towards my phone, it was him. I was thrilled. He had sent a ‘Hie’. I went blank as I did not know what to reply! I just sent a hi too….